HAPPY NEW YEAR (comedy)

                                        Happy  New  Year

    This short play is set in Kottayam.The characters:Chandy (65),his wife Annamma (60) and 
Mathen (55),a neighbour
                                             Scene 1


Chandy's  home.It's New Year Day 2013.Annamma  is watching TV.Enter Chandy in a
hilarious mood.He  is slightly drunk.
                                               Chandy
Happy  new   year,Annamma
                                              Annamma

   Happy  new  year,Chandicha
                                             Chandy

 How's  everything ?

                                       Annamma

Everything  is  fine.
                                     Chandy

 Stop  watching TV.I have something important  to tell you.
                                      
                                     Annamma
What's  that?
                                 Chandy
Come nearer.( holding her hand and hugging her) Dearest  Annamma,today I am taking a
firm new year resolution to quit drinking.
                                  Annamma
Ha,ha,how  many times I have heard this!
                                  Chandy
But  this time it's  final,like a statue  made of solid rock.Para pole urachathu.
                                  Annamma
All  these years all  your new year resolutions have been made of ice.
                                  Chandy
Don't pooh pooh my sincere,steadfast,unquestionablae,once-off resolution.
                                  Annamma
Nice words.But implementation is the key word.Andiyodadukkumbol ariyam mangayude
puly.Have you already quit drinking,or did you say you are going to quit?
                                   Chandy
Let me explain it clearly.When an aeroplane lands,it doesn't come to a sudden halt.It has to
taxi slowly until it reaches its parking bay.Hven't  you heard the PA,"please remain seated
until  the aircraft comes to a complete halt."
                                    Annamma
Why  do you beat  about the bush?Come straight  to the point.
                                   Chandy
Now I am in that stage of an aircraft taxiing to the final stop.I have landed.
                                  Annamma
So  what?
                                 Chandy
You see,even though today is 1st January,my resolution comes into effect only on the 7th.
This period is the grace period.Every deadline has a grace period.
                                  Annamma
Don't  waste  my time.Why  do you want a grace period?
                                   Chandy
To be frank,I have a little Chivas and 6 bottles of Heineken left.Today I will finish the Chivas
and finish the Heinekan one bottle per day.On the seventh day,"you can unfasten your seat
belt,switch on your cell phone,and take out your luggage..."
                                   Annamma
Why  can't you throw those bottles into the dustbin,and implement your resolution right
now?
                                 Chandy
Annamma,you don't know the value  of Chivas and Heineken.They are imported,and
very expensive.How  can you throw away  precious things like that?
                                Annamma
There's  no use in talking to you.If you are sincere in your resolution,break those bottles
or just empty them.(opens the fridge and takes a Heineken and tries to open it.Chandy
prevents her)
                                 Chandy
Annamma,you don't  understand me.
                                 Annamma
I  understand  you  fully.
                                Chandy
I  have taken another  decision.Like a valkashanam or tail-piece.I have taken a solemn
decision not to hurt you in any way,by word or deed.I have hurt you in many ways,finding
fault with you for the silliest reasons  such as too much sugar in the tea,too little salt in the
curry,the chappathy not having the shape of the full moon,etc etc.Quite often,I have used
strong language against you.I ask you for forgiveness,and vow not to hurt you in any way,with
effect from this moment....
                                        Annamma
I'm not convinced.These are your new year gimmicks.The  proof of the pudding is in the
eating.Why don't  you sell the remaining liqor and give the money to charity?
                                         Chandy
No,I won't  do that.If I sell it,somebody will drink it.I don't want to encourage drinking.
I'll  consume it myself so that nobody lays hand on it.
                                            Annamma
OK.Do as you like.Leave me alone.I'm missing the new year  programmes.
                                              Chandy
Thanks,Annamma.Please bring some soda and ice,and some beef olathiyathu.
                                             Annamma
(aside) Iyal  kure olathum.
( Chandy  sits down,holding the Chivas bottle with great affection.)
                                       Curtain  ( Scene 2 will follow)