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FUTURE ADVERTISEMENT- 2 ( SATIRE )

                             FUTURE   ADVERTISEMENT  - 2   (  SATIRE)


   KINDI   CHOR'S  GOONDA   SERVICES  ( Recognised  by  Thattippudesh  Government)

   In  response  to huge  public  demand , we are  shifting to our newly-built  complex,
  opposite  Secretariat, Thattippupuram, ( formerly  known as Thiruvananthapuram ) ,
  Thattippudesh  (  formerly  known as Kerala ). The new complex is a state-of-the art
   four storey building, covering  50000 square feet area.

  SERVICES   OFFERED
  
   All  kinds of  Goonda activities  undertaken, with professional  perfection, at  reasonable
 rates. A special  discount of  10% is  offered  for  all  our services ,to celebrate our
 opening  on 3rd  August   2013. Our  services include  the following :

  Assault, battery  ( not car battery ), stone -pelting, nadan bomb making, effigy burning,
 black  flag  display, foul language ( pulicha  theri),car-smashing, hand-chopping ( kaivettu)
 etc. Quotation  jobs also  undertaken.

Stones of various  shapes and sizes  are available, whole sale or retail, for stone-pelting.

Immediate  treatment  is available  for those who are injured in daily  street battles and
lathicharge in front  of  Satyagraha gate. Quick treatment for demonstrators and bystanders  suffering
 eye irritation due to teargas. Bathroom and changing facilities  available for  those who
are wet  due to water cannon.

24 hour  services  of ladygoondas  are available, to trap political opponents  using
 hidden  cameras.

We  have home delivery too. Assault  and battery  will be delivered as parcel to
your  enemies' homes.

*  All kinds  of  "Thattippu'  will  be  undertaken, as per order. These include:

money chain  thattippu, flat thattippu, visa thattippu, human trafficking thattippu,
solar  thattippu, lunar thattippu, credit card thattippu, ATM  thattippu,mudra pathram
thattippu, marriage  thattippu, sanyasi/sanyasini  thattippu, fake  passport  thattippu,
fake  degree thattippu, fake gold thattippu, counterfeit  currency thattippu, fake doctor
thattippu, nagamanikyam  thattippu  etc etc ( free catalogue available )

* Crowds  needed  for huge rallies and gatherings of political  parties  available for
hire at discounted rates. eg  Those who hire 10000 persons  get 1000 people free.

* We  also  supply  high quality  gothambu unda  for  prisons.

Terms  and  conditions  apply. Bus cheques ( vandi cheques  not accepted )

* Visit  our  website:  www goonda.com or visit us in person.

      Kindi  Chor's  Goonda Services  (Pvt Ltd)
      2, Lathi Charge  Avenue,
      Corner  of  Water Cannon  and  Teargaskonam   Streets,
      Thattippupuram,
       Thattippudesh
        471001
 

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