SCENE 1
( An examination hall in Kerala. About 30 people of different
ages are seated. Paper 1 of the M.F.( Master of Fraud) Examination is about to start. Among the candidates is a young
Sikh. Enter the invigilator.)
Invigilator
Good morning candidates. Are you all ready ? We are about to
start. Please remember, don't try to do anything funny.I mean,
copying. I have zero-tolerance in this matter. Do you hear?
candidates
Yes, Sir.
( The invigilator distributes the question papers. As the candidates open the question papers, there are signs of unease
on their faces.Some of them look at each other,some look at the ceiling,and some look far away. The invigilator moves around,
eagle-eyed. He notices a young man who is very nervous and
is trying to adjust his left shoe. The invigilator goes near him)
Invigilator
Any problem with your shoe ?
Candidate
No sir, nothing.
Invigilator
You seem to have some problem with your left shoe. If the shoe
pinches, you may remove it, and write comfortably.
candidate
No Sir,there's nothing.
Invigilator
Let me see. ( he removes the left shoe, displays it and shakes it.
A bunch of papers fall down )
Invigilator
( Mockingly) So that's where the shoe pinches. I hereby confiscate
your shoe and these papers. You lose the shoe,but you get the
boot.
Candidate
Very sorry sir. Please forgive. I forgot the papers inside the
shoe.
Invigilator
Shut up, you master fraudster. Out of my sight!
( exit the candidate, limping . The examination continues.
The invigilator paces back and forth, extremely vigilant.
He notices a young lady who shows signs of nervousness.
He goes near her.)
Invigilator
Any problem, madam ?
Lady
No problem, sir.
Invigilator
Any discomfort?
Lady
Nothing, sir.I am OK.
( The invigilator goes around, comes back behind the lady,and
views her from different angles, suspiciously .He notices something hidden in the lady's blouse.He goes near her)
Invigilator
Madam, what's in your blouse ?
Lady
Mind your words. How can you ask such a silly question?
Invigilator
I'm asking, what's hidden in your blouse?
Lady
It's none of your business. I'll charge you for women abuse
or 'peedanam'.
Invigilator
I have to do my duty. ( He phones somebody. Some minutes
later, a lady invigilator arrives. She escorts the candidate lady
outside. She returns with a bunch of papers.)
Lady Invigilator
I recovered all these papers from her blouse. Essays, notes,summaries etc etc .(hands over the papers,and exit)
( The invigilator walks around. He notices that the Sikh is
nervous and confused, and is always adjusting his turban)
Invigilator
Are you sick?
Sikh
Yes, I am a Sikh.
Invigilator
I didn't mean that. I was asking whether you are ill ?
Sikh
No,I'm not.
Invigilator
Any discomfort with your turban ? It seems it doesn't fit your
head. Let me help you to fix it.
Sikh
No ,sir. Thre's no problem.
( The invigilator checks the ID of the Sikh)
Invigilator
You are Jose. How come that you wear a turban ?
Sikh
I recently converted to Sikhism.Now I am Ranveer Singh.
Invigilator
No matter who you are, I have to check your turban. Please
remove it.
Sikh
No,I can't. You are hurting my religious sentiments.
Invigilator
Remove it. ( he forcibly removes the turban.Lots of papers
fall from it.) With all due respect, Sardarji, get out of here.
Sikh
Sorry sir.Please let me continue.
Invigilator
No excuses. Get lost. I'm sick and tired of you.
( exit 'Singh'. Enter the Chief Examiner)
Chief Examiner
How is it ? Is everything under control? Any problem ?
Invigilator
Everything on track,except for some abortive attempts at copying.
( The Chief Examiner inspects everything. He checks the ID
of the Invigilator.)
Chief Examiner
You are Gopan,the driver of the Vice Chancellor.How come that
you are an invigilator here?
Invigilator
Sir, nowadays life is very difficult . One can't rely on a single job.
The Vice Chancellor kindly appointed me as an invigilator so that
I get some extra money to make ends meet.
Chief Examiner
No, this can't be allowed. This is corruption .I will have none of that.
Invigilator
May I ask you a question?
Chief Examiner
What ?
Invigilator
Are you not P.C.Koppan, General Secretary of All Kerala
Vazhiyadharam Party ( AKVP). I have seen some public meetings
of yours,where the street dogs,vagrants and madmen vastly outnumbered the general public as your audience,to listen to your
empty rhetoric?
Chief Examiner
Tut, speak softly. The truth is, when the ruling Front divided
positions, we got peanuts ,as we are a splinter party.That's how I got this appointment.
Invigilator
That's all right. Anything can happen here in 'Thattippu Nadu'
( Fraudsland). After all, they are writing MF,Paper 1. We are
suitably qualified to conduct the exams.
( both laugh )
( Curtain)
( An examination hall in Kerala. About 30 people of different
ages are seated. Paper 1 of the M.F.( Master of Fraud) Examination is about to start. Among the candidates is a young
Sikh. Enter the invigilator.)
Invigilator
Good morning candidates. Are you all ready ? We are about to
start. Please remember, don't try to do anything funny.I mean,
copying. I have zero-tolerance in this matter. Do you hear?
candidates
Yes, Sir.
( The invigilator distributes the question papers. As the candidates open the question papers, there are signs of unease
on their faces.Some of them look at each other,some look at the ceiling,and some look far away. The invigilator moves around,
eagle-eyed. He notices a young man who is very nervous and
is trying to adjust his left shoe. The invigilator goes near him)
Invigilator
Any problem with your shoe ?
Candidate
No sir, nothing.
Invigilator
You seem to have some problem with your left shoe. If the shoe
pinches, you may remove it, and write comfortably.
candidate
No Sir,there's nothing.
Invigilator
Let me see. ( he removes the left shoe, displays it and shakes it.
A bunch of papers fall down )
Invigilator
( Mockingly) So that's where the shoe pinches. I hereby confiscate
your shoe and these papers. You lose the shoe,but you get the
boot.
Candidate
Very sorry sir. Please forgive. I forgot the papers inside the
shoe.
Invigilator
Shut up, you master fraudster. Out of my sight!
( exit the candidate, limping . The examination continues.
The invigilator paces back and forth, extremely vigilant.
He notices a young lady who shows signs of nervousness.
He goes near her.)
Invigilator
Any problem, madam ?
Lady
No problem, sir.
Invigilator
Any discomfort?
Lady
Nothing, sir.I am OK.
( The invigilator goes around, comes back behind the lady,and
views her from different angles, suspiciously .He notices something hidden in the lady's blouse.He goes near her)
Invigilator
Madam, what's in your blouse ?
Lady
Mind your words. How can you ask such a silly question?
Invigilator
I'm asking, what's hidden in your blouse?
Lady
It's none of your business. I'll charge you for women abuse
or 'peedanam'.
Invigilator
I have to do my duty. ( He phones somebody. Some minutes
later, a lady invigilator arrives. She escorts the candidate lady
outside. She returns with a bunch of papers.)
Lady Invigilator
I recovered all these papers from her blouse. Essays, notes,summaries etc etc .(hands over the papers,and exit)
( The invigilator walks around. He notices that the Sikh is
nervous and confused, and is always adjusting his turban)
Invigilator
Are you sick?
Sikh
Yes, I am a Sikh.
Invigilator
I didn't mean that. I was asking whether you are ill ?
Sikh
No,I'm not.
Invigilator
Any discomfort with your turban ? It seems it doesn't fit your
head. Let me help you to fix it.
Sikh
No ,sir. Thre's no problem.
( The invigilator checks the ID of the Sikh)
Invigilator
You are Jose. How come that you wear a turban ?
Sikh
I recently converted to Sikhism.Now I am Ranveer Singh.
Invigilator
No matter who you are, I have to check your turban. Please
remove it.
Sikh
No,I can't. You are hurting my religious sentiments.
Invigilator
Remove it. ( he forcibly removes the turban.Lots of papers
fall from it.) With all due respect, Sardarji, get out of here.
Sikh
Sorry sir.Please let me continue.
Invigilator
No excuses. Get lost. I'm sick and tired of you.
( exit 'Singh'. Enter the Chief Examiner)
Chief Examiner
How is it ? Is everything under control? Any problem ?
Invigilator
Everything on track,except for some abortive attempts at copying.
( The Chief Examiner inspects everything. He checks the ID
of the Invigilator.)
Chief Examiner
You are Gopan,the driver of the Vice Chancellor.How come that
you are an invigilator here?
Invigilator
Sir, nowadays life is very difficult . One can't rely on a single job.
The Vice Chancellor kindly appointed me as an invigilator so that
I get some extra money to make ends meet.
Chief Examiner
No, this can't be allowed. This is corruption .I will have none of that.
Invigilator
May I ask you a question?
Chief Examiner
What ?
Invigilator
Are you not P.C.Koppan, General Secretary of All Kerala
Vazhiyadharam Party ( AKVP). I have seen some public meetings
of yours,where the street dogs,vagrants and madmen vastly outnumbered the general public as your audience,to listen to your
empty rhetoric?
Chief Examiner
Tut, speak softly. The truth is, when the ruling Front divided
positions, we got peanuts ,as we are a splinter party.That's how I got this appointment.
Invigilator
That's all right. Anything can happen here in 'Thattippu Nadu'
( Fraudsland). After all, they are writing MF,Paper 1. We are
suitably qualified to conduct the exams.
( both laugh )
( Curtain)
Comments
Post a Comment