THE BIRTH OF THATTIPPU NADU ( SATIRE )
2014 is written in golden letters in the history of Kerala because some dramatic events took
place in that historic year. First, in the Lok Sabha elections the UDF was routed, not because of the
popularity of the LDF, but because of the pent up wrath of the general public, caused by daily
scandals, corruption, fraud saga, in-fighting and backstabbing among the coalition partners, the
foul-mouthed utterances of some leaders etc etc ,which was unleashed into the ballot machines with a vengeance. The UDF emerged as '' sampoojyar'', which means to emerge with some zeroes.
Thereafter, the UDF was known as the Utterly Defeated Front !
After the defeat, the red-nosed Congress leaders were summoned by Soniaji to Delhi .Oommen
Chandy was promptly fired on the spot, and , as anticipated, the mantle of CM fell on Mr Ramesh
Chennithala. I don't know the exact meaning of Chennithala, but it must be referring to a head carrying an excessively heavy load ,unable to balance it !
When a Cardinal becomes Pope, it's customary for him to assume another name.Sri Ramesh got
cue from this, and ,to an extend, copied the Catholic tradition. He set a new precedent in Kerala
by appending his jathi name to his name, thus becoming Chennithala Rameshan Nair overnight.
Mr Sukumaran Nair buried the hatchet at Perunna.
As Chief Minister, Rameshan Nair's first reform was the renaming of the state, in response
to the aspirations of the people. Kerala means ' the land of coconut trees'. By 2013, the people
felt that the name 'Kerala' was archaic, and clamoured for a name change to suit the reality prevailing
in the state. That reality was the mega serial-like fraud and corruption cases that surfaced daily.
" Thattippu' of various types and dimensions became the order rather than the exception, and the
people could be broadly classified as perpetrators and victims.
Honourable Chief Minister Rameshan Nair immediately embarked on the uphill task of renaming
the state, and enlisted the support of all political parties including the Opposition. He set up an
all-inclusive Committee to formulate strategies.
Rameshan Nair addressed the people on Tv Channels, flanked by the Committee members, and
appealed for the people's support for the all-important exercise of name change. The response was
overwhelming .
.
In true democratic fashion, the people were requested to send their suggestions for a new name
for the state, and within seconds, the 'in boxes' of the Committee and of the Channels burst due
to a tsunami of new names pouring in. Some of the names received were:
Thattippu Desh, Thattippu Rashtra, Thattippu Khand, Thattippalaya, Thattippu ooru, Thattippu
Palayam, Thattippu Nadu, Banana Desh, Vellarikka Desh, Vellana Desh, Thattippustan, Solar
Nadu, Thattippu Thatakam, Thattippu Gad, Thattippu Pur, Thattippubad, etc etc
There were some names with a Western touch , eg :
Fraudland, Fraudsnia, Fraudstralia, Fraudsburg, Fraudsterland, Foolsland, Stupidsland,Gullibleland,
Solarland, Smugglers' Free State, Fraudstria etc etc
Chief Minister Rameshan Nair deemed it perfectly appropriate to send an all-party delegation
on a fact-finding mission to South Africa to learn about the impact of name changes on the
people. South Africa was chosen because that country has a reputation for changing the names of
many cities and towns since 1994, apparently to dump the vestiges of the apartheid past.
eg They changed Pretoria to Tswane, and Potchefstroom to Tlokwe.
An Airbus A 380 was chartered for the worthy cause, and all the ministers, MLAs, MPs,
their respective families, gunmen, hangers-on, in-laws, shinkidikal, silbandhikal etc etc were
accommodated in the aircraft.
On 1st May, 2014, the chartered aircraft took off for South Africa for the noble mission. The
delegation visited various places that had undergone name change, interviewed the people, and
gathered evidence. They found that the name changes increased the happiness of the people.They
also found that South African beer, wine, beef, lamb,pork etc etc were of superior quality.They
visited national parks, beaches, posh hotels etc etc. The three -week trip cost the government
500 crore Rupees only.
On 1st June 2014, the referendum was held to choose the most suitable name for the state.
The first 10 names, which topped the nominations of the people, appeared on the voting
machine.
Right from daybreak, long queues were seen winding their way into the polling stations.The
young and the old, the disabled, the rich and the poor, all
defied pouring rain to exercise their
democratic right. The voter turnout was 96%.The whole exercise cost the government 5000 crore
Rupees only.
Unfortunately, the referendum was inconclusive . According to the rules of the referendum, a 50%
vote was necessary to declare a winner. So the stage was set for a second round of voting. This time,
only the two top -scoring names were on the voting machine, ie Thattppu Desh and Thattippu
Nadu.
The referendum was held on 1st July, 2014. As before, the people took part peacefully and
enthusiastically. The voter turnout was 98 %. The whole exercise cost the government 5500
crore rupees only.
On 5th July 2014, the Honourable Chief minister, Shri Chennithala Rameshan Nair announced the results
in the midst of a large crowd of media persons, both local and foreign. He was extremely happy
about the successful end of a campaign he had initiated. With a broad smile, he announced,
'' Henceforth, Kerala will be known as........ ( pause ), known as ; THATTIPPU NADU
There were wild cheers, ululations, hugs, tears of joy, fireworks, dancing, music, spilling of
champagne, shouts of joy, heralding the birth of Thattippu Nadu.
2014 is written in golden letters in the history of Kerala because some dramatic events took
place in that historic year. First, in the Lok Sabha elections the UDF was routed, not because of the
popularity of the LDF, but because of the pent up wrath of the general public, caused by daily
scandals, corruption, fraud saga, in-fighting and backstabbing among the coalition partners, the
foul-mouthed utterances of some leaders etc etc ,which was unleashed into the ballot machines with a vengeance. The UDF emerged as '' sampoojyar'', which means to emerge with some zeroes.
Thereafter, the UDF was known as the Utterly Defeated Front !
After the defeat, the red-nosed Congress leaders were summoned by Soniaji to Delhi .Oommen
Chandy was promptly fired on the spot, and , as anticipated, the mantle of CM fell on Mr Ramesh
Chennithala. I don't know the exact meaning of Chennithala, but it must be referring to a head carrying an excessively heavy load ,unable to balance it !
When a Cardinal becomes Pope, it's customary for him to assume another name.Sri Ramesh got
cue from this, and ,to an extend, copied the Catholic tradition. He set a new precedent in Kerala
by appending his jathi name to his name, thus becoming Chennithala Rameshan Nair overnight.
Mr Sukumaran Nair buried the hatchet at Perunna.
As Chief Minister, Rameshan Nair's first reform was the renaming of the state, in response
to the aspirations of the people. Kerala means ' the land of coconut trees'. By 2013, the people
felt that the name 'Kerala' was archaic, and clamoured for a name change to suit the reality prevailing
in the state. That reality was the mega serial-like fraud and corruption cases that surfaced daily.
" Thattippu' of various types and dimensions became the order rather than the exception, and the
people could be broadly classified as perpetrators and victims.
Honourable Chief Minister Rameshan Nair immediately embarked on the uphill task of renaming
the state, and enlisted the support of all political parties including the Opposition. He set up an
all-inclusive Committee to formulate strategies.
Rameshan Nair addressed the people on Tv Channels, flanked by the Committee members, and
appealed for the people's support for the all-important exercise of name change. The response was
overwhelming .
.
In true democratic fashion, the people were requested to send their suggestions for a new name
for the state, and within seconds, the 'in boxes' of the Committee and of the Channels burst due
to a tsunami of new names pouring in. Some of the names received were:
Thattippu Desh, Thattippu Rashtra, Thattippu Khand, Thattippalaya, Thattippu ooru, Thattippu
Palayam, Thattippu Nadu, Banana Desh, Vellarikka Desh, Vellana Desh, Thattippustan, Solar
Nadu, Thattippu Thatakam, Thattippu Gad, Thattippu Pur, Thattippubad, etc etc
There were some names with a Western touch , eg :
Fraudland, Fraudsnia, Fraudstralia, Fraudsburg, Fraudsterland, Foolsland, Stupidsland,Gullibleland,
Solarland, Smugglers' Free State, Fraudstria etc etc
Chief Minister Rameshan Nair deemed it perfectly appropriate to send an all-party delegation
on a fact-finding mission to South Africa to learn about the impact of name changes on the
people. South Africa was chosen because that country has a reputation for changing the names of
many cities and towns since 1994, apparently to dump the vestiges of the apartheid past.
eg They changed Pretoria to Tswane, and Potchefstroom to Tlokwe.
An Airbus A 380 was chartered for the worthy cause, and all the ministers, MLAs, MPs,
their respective families, gunmen, hangers-on, in-laws, shinkidikal, silbandhikal etc etc were
accommodated in the aircraft.
On 1st May, 2014, the chartered aircraft took off for South Africa for the noble mission. The
delegation visited various places that had undergone name change, interviewed the people, and
gathered evidence. They found that the name changes increased the happiness of the people.They
also found that South African beer, wine, beef, lamb,pork etc etc were of superior quality.They
visited national parks, beaches, posh hotels etc etc. The three -week trip cost the government
500 crore Rupees only.
On 1st June 2014, the referendum was held to choose the most suitable name for the state.
The first 10 names, which topped the nominations of the people, appeared on the voting
machine.
Right from daybreak, long queues were seen winding their way into the polling stations.The
young and the old, the disabled, the rich and the poor, all
democratic right. The voter turnout was 96%.The whole exercise cost the government 5000 crore
Rupees only.
Unfortunately, the referendum was inconclusive . According to the rules of the referendum, a 50%
vote was necessary to declare a winner. So the stage was set for a second round of voting. This time,
only the two top -scoring names were on the voting machine, ie Thattppu Desh and Thattippu
Nadu.
The referendum was held on 1st July, 2014. As before, the people took part peacefully and
enthusiastically. The voter turnout was 98 %. The whole exercise cost the government 5500
crore rupees only.
On 5th July 2014, the Honourable Chief minister, Shri Chennithala Rameshan Nair announced the results
in the midst of a large crowd of media persons, both local and foreign. He was extremely happy
about the successful end of a campaign he had initiated. With a broad smile, he announced,
'' Henceforth, Kerala will be known as........ ( pause ), known as ; THATTIPPU NADU
There were wild cheers, ululations, hugs, tears of joy, fireworks, dancing, music, spilling of
champagne, shouts of joy, heralding the birth of Thattippu Nadu.
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