FUTURE ADVERTISEMENT - 2 ( SATIRE)
KINDI CHOR'S GOONDA SERVICES ( Recognised by Thattippudesh Government)
In response to huge public demand , we are shifting to our newly-built complex,
opposite Secretariat, Thattippupuram, ( formerly known as Thiruvananthapuram ) ,
Thattippudesh ( formerly known as Kerala ). The new complex is a state-of-the art
four storey building, covering 50000 square feet area.
SERVICES OFFERED
All kinds of Goonda activities undertaken, with professional perfection, at reasonable
rates. A special discount of 10% is offered for all our services ,to celebrate our
opening on 3rd August 2013. Our services include the following :
Assault, battery ( not car battery ), stone -pelting, nadan bomb making, effigy burning,
black flag display, foul language ( pulicha theri),car-smashing, hand-chopping ( kaivettu)
etc. Quotation jobs also undertaken.
Stones of various shapes and sizes are available, whole sale or retail, for stone-pelting.
Immediate treatment is available for those who are injured in daily street battles and
lathicharge in front of Satyagraha gate. Quick treatment for demonstrators and bystanders suffering
eye irritation due to teargas. Bathroom and changing facilities available for those who
are wet due to water cannon.
24 hour services of ladygoondas are available, to trap political opponents using
hidden cameras.
We have home delivery too. Assault and battery will be delivered as parcel to
your enemies' homes.
* All kinds of "Thattippu' will be undertaken, as per order. These include:
money chain thattippu, flat thattippu, visa thattippu, human trafficking thattippu,
solar thattippu, lunar thattippu, credit card thattippu, ATM thattippu,mudra pathram
thattippu, marriage thattippu, sanyasi/sanyasini thattippu, fake passport thattippu,
fake degree thattippu, fake gold thattippu, counterfeit currency thattippu, fake doctor
thattippu, nagamanikyam thattippu etc etc ( free catalogue available )
* Crowds needed for huge rallies and gatherings of political parties available for
hire at discounted rates. eg Those who hire 10000 persons get 1000 people free.
* We also supply high quality gothambu unda for prisons.
Terms and conditions apply. Bus cheques ( vandi cheques not accepted )
* Visit our website: www goonda.com or visit us in person.
Kindi Chor's Goonda Services (Pvt Ltd)
2, Lathi Charge Avenue,
Corner of Water Cannon and Teargaskonam Streets,
Thattippupuram,
Thattippudesh
471001
KINDI CHOR'S GOONDA SERVICES ( Recognised by Thattippudesh Government)
In response to huge public demand , we are shifting to our newly-built complex,
opposite Secretariat, Thattippupuram, ( formerly known as Thiruvananthapuram ) ,
Thattippudesh ( formerly known as Kerala ). The new complex is a state-of-the art
four storey building, covering 50000 square feet area.
SERVICES OFFERED
All kinds of Goonda activities undertaken, with professional perfection, at reasonable
rates. A special discount of 10% is offered for all our services ,to celebrate our
opening on 3rd August 2013. Our services include the following :
Assault, battery ( not car battery ), stone -pelting, nadan bomb making, effigy burning,
black flag display, foul language ( pulicha theri),car-smashing, hand-chopping ( kaivettu)
etc. Quotation jobs also undertaken.
Stones of various shapes and sizes are available, whole sale or retail, for stone-pelting.
Immediate treatment is available for those who are injured in daily street battles and
lathicharge in front of Satyagraha gate. Quick treatment for demonstrators and bystanders suffering
eye irritation due to teargas. Bathroom and changing facilities available for those who
are wet due to water cannon.
24 hour services of ladygoondas are available, to trap political opponents using
hidden cameras.
We have home delivery too. Assault and battery will be delivered as parcel to
your enemies' homes.
* All kinds of "Thattippu' will be undertaken, as per order. These include:
money chain thattippu, flat thattippu, visa thattippu, human trafficking thattippu,
solar thattippu, lunar thattippu, credit card thattippu, ATM thattippu,mudra pathram
thattippu, marriage thattippu, sanyasi/sanyasini thattippu, fake passport thattippu,
fake degree thattippu, fake gold thattippu, counterfeit currency thattippu, fake doctor
thattippu, nagamanikyam thattippu etc etc ( free catalogue available )
* Crowds needed for huge rallies and gatherings of political parties available for
hire at discounted rates. eg Those who hire 10000 persons get 1000 people free.
* We also supply high quality gothambu unda for prisons.
Terms and conditions apply. Bus cheques ( vandi cheques not accepted )
* Visit our website: www goonda.com or visit us in person.
Kindi Chor's Goonda Services (Pvt Ltd)
2, Lathi Charge Avenue,
Corner of Water Cannon and Teargaskonam Streets,
Thattippupuram,
Thattippudesh
471001
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